GOOD MORNING, BEAUTIFUL!!!

I was dehydrated and very hungry when I got home from my very long, very hot errands today. One of the reasons for my errands was water. We didn't have any. Well, we have water coming from various faucets and taps, but that is water I allow only to pass over my body and not to enter it. Maybe it would be different if I lived in the Swiss Alps.

It was after noon by the time I had brought in the last jug of water and I just needed a big drink and some nourishment, so I filled a quart jar with tepid (refreshingly tasteless) water, turned on the ceiling fan, turned off the light (what I did NOT need was another glowing source of heat here in sunny-114-degree AZ!), and sat in my mom-throne with my feet up. Then I turned on my device because it's 2019 and what else would I do?

After 30 (ish) minutes my water was gone and I had watched a bunch of unnecessary brain sucking videos. I got up, famished and ready for the nourishment part. I remembered the avocado that I purchased while out and about. I grabbed a bowl and a knife and prayed that it would be ripe enough, but not too ripe...my prayer was answered with a lovely spot-free avocado. I smooshed it with a fork, poured in some Pace Picante Sauce (mild for the children with weak mouths) and grabbed a full unopened bag of chips.

I decided to search for something inspirational on YouTube this time. It seemed appropriate considering my lovely and nutritious lunch. I found a video entitled "How to Live An Exceptional Life" (something like that, anyway). The speaker was great. I probably should have paid closer attention to her name. She was very skinny...in a healthy way, not in a skeletal way. She was engaging her audience. People were laughing at all the right moments.

She asked a beautiful fashionably dressed young woman from the audience to join her on stage and had her sit in a chair facing the speaker. The speaker told this lovely young lady that she'd written this talk just for her and her alone. Very powerful stuff. (crunch, crunch...nom, nom) She said that the audience could listen if they wanted to. I, like the rest of the audience, was there to just listen.  ...and to dip Santita's Tortilla Triangles into squished avocado and Pace Picante Sauce (mild).

Sadly, the contents of the bowl didn't last nearly as long as her talk about how to lead an extraordinary life, but before I could swipe down the screen to make her disappear, the speaker told this girl to wake up each day, look at herself in the mirror, and say, "GOOD MORNING, BEAUTIFUL!!!" because the world would try to tear her down.

I turned off my phone, set my carefully licked-clean bowl to the side, looked at the open chip bag nestled comfortably between my slightly lumpy arthritic knees, then down, past my double chin at my ample bosom and fluffy belly all covered in tortilla triangle chiplets, and said out loud, a little quieter and with a bit less enthusiasm than the speaker, "good morning, beautiful..."

And then I laughed out loud.

And also I meant it, chip crumbs, belly fluff, and all.

The Daily Conundrum

It is currently 6:01 Mountain Standard Time and I am “typing” a blog post lying on my back, in my black and white polka dot pajamas, in my bed, next to my sleeping husband, while my teenage children bustle about the kitchen eating cold cereal and preparing school lunches.

I am using my phone. This cannot be good for my eyes, or my hands, or my neck, but I have been meaning to write a blog post for months...quite possibly years. Amazingly I remembered my Blog user password. Do I get a point? Yes. I will give myself an honorary point for that. (Yay! I got a point!)

I should be at the gym... (I have a dream to run a marathon...in the mountains...with bare feet...while sucking on chia seed gel.)

I should be helping my kids get a real breakfast... (Once upon a time I was a decent sort of mother who baked fresh whole grain muffins and cooked scrambled eggs for my children before they went off to learn all the importance things.)

I should be planning out my day and my healthy food plan... (All the experts say you need a meal plan or you’ll just eat whatever is convenient. Making vegetables convenient takes way too long.)

I should be writing in my journal and saying a morning prayer... (My children’s children will thank me. Also, I need God’s help.)

I figure I have about an hour and a half before my day with kids begins and insanity takes over. Lately I’ve been prioritizing exercise for that time slot. (I can now jog a whole half-mile... I’ll be old and gray before my marathon dreams comes true...oh, wait...I’m already old and gray. Haha. Jokes on me.) Today, however, I decided to read a couple chapters in the scriptures and listen to a general conference talk...and write a blog post.

Can I exercise later? I hope so. This body is is a study in painful joints, flabby cheeks (top and bottom), and dimpled elbows. In other words, I NEED to exercise. (Even if I never get to barefoot marathon status.)

But I also need to do all of the other things and in my over stimulated brain I feel like I need each of those things to start my day off right.

Aaaaaaagh!!!!!

Usually, this thought pattern is immobilizing. This morning, though, I chose something. Maybe I chose right? I don’t know, but I guess it’s going to be okay...dimpled elbows and all.